


Where in the World is Deadpool?

by girlinstory



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Cats on Broadway, Gen, Hallucinations, Hello Kitty - Freeform, Hide and Seek, Tacos, adorable paranoia, burner phones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 13:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17044394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlinstory/pseuds/girlinstory
Summary: When Peter didn't hear from Wade for a day, he was relieved. He went out for tacos and actually got to eat his. No pairings except for some canonical crushing on Deadpool's part.





	Where in the World is Deadpool?

When Peter didn't hear from Wade for a day, he was relieved. He went out for tacos and actually got to eat his.

When he didn't hear from Wade for three days, he got curious. He wondered if Wade was still trying to get a grip on the whole secret identity thing. Probably not. It would be the first time he tried to get a grip on anything.

Wade barged (broke) into Peter's apartment at least twice a week. Three times if it was a holiday weekend. It had been bound to happen eventually: He'd seen Peter without his mask. It didn't bother Peter as much as it would have a month ago. Although he would have preferred it if Wade hadn't also seen him without his pants.

Anyway, Wade had insisted there was only one way to make it right. "You showed me yours. Now I have to show you mine."

Peter had protested very loudly until he realized Wade just meant his face. Then he'd gotten very quiet.

When he didn't hear from Wade for five days, he started to get suspicious. A mercenary had learned his secret identity and mysteriously disappeared. It didn't look good on paper, which he knew for a fact, because he caught himself writing about it in the Hello Kitty diary Wade had gotten him for Memorial Day. When he asked Wade why they were exchanging Memorial Day presents, Wade had just started singing "Memories." Peter didn't push it. Wade had taken the closure of the Cats revival pretty hard.

When he didn't hear from Wade for a week, he finally admitted he was worried. He tried the number of every burner phone Wade had ever called, texted, or sexted him from, which thanks to his adorable paranoia, totaled fifty-six. Peter had only given Wade his number two weeks ago.

They all went to voicemail (all somehow with personalized and equally obnoxious outgoing messages, although Peter had to admit he'd laughed at Wade's rendition of "Where in the World in Carmen Sandiago?" As long as he didn't have to admit it to Wade.)

He found Wade's apartment and knocked on the door, but no one answered that either. He was starting to feel a little snubbed.

"Wade!" he called. "You home?"

There was still no answer, but his Spidey-sense was tingling, so he broke in. It was only fair.

"Wade?"

Peter started searching the apartment. Wade was in the last place he looked, but that was just because he didn't want a repeat of the Give Me Back My Towel Wade Incident, as he'd started referring to it in his diary.

Wade was in the bathtub. At least he was clothed. He was even wearing his mask.

"Did you forget to tell me we'd started a game of hide and seek again? Your hiding place isn't very good. You didn't even close the curtain. You should have hidden under the bed. It might've taken me a whole ten minutes to find you."

Wade didn't say anything.

"I might never have found you if you'd hidden in the closet."

Wade still didn't say anything.

"The correct response is, 'That's just because you're afraid to come out of it.'" said Peter. He'd never known Wade to pass up the opportunity for a gay joke.

Nothing.

"Are you okay?"

Wade gave him a measured look. Peter couldn't tell exactly what it was measuring, but just in case, he sucked in his gut.

"Welp," Wade finally said. "You're not real."

"What?"

"You got me with the phone calls, but Peter wouldn't come here in person. I win. New game? Maybe this time you can play as Cable."

Wade was having an episode. He'd warned Peter about them, but Peter hadn't thought he could get any crazier than he already was. He'd been right. Wade hadn't gotten crazier. The crazy had just gotten less funny.

"I'm not a hallucination. I'm Peter Parker. I'm your friend."

Wade made a strangled sound. Peter couldn't tell through the mask if it was a sob or a laugh. He wasn't sure which would be worse.

"Now I know you're not real. Petey never says he's my friend."

"I didn't really- I was joking. I thought you were joking. I'm your friend, and I want to help you."

"Petey's smart. He's a genius. He would know he can't help me."

"If so he's smart, maybe he can find a way. I mean me. I can find a way. Goddamnit. I'm not a hallucination."

"See? Even you're not sure."


End file.
